Random FMA stories
by HomunculusGreedLing
Summary: Just some random FMA shorts I wrote. Chapter 7 is now up.
1. I want to fly

Just some random stories, hope you like them. Please Review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full-metal alchemist. Fine , there, I said it, Happy? You just ruined my day.

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**_Random FMA Stories_**

**By HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 1: I want to fly**

Two birds flew into their nest and started to mate. Two figures watched them from inside the mansion.

"Mommy, what are those birds doing?" asked Wrath, looking out the window.

"They're just playing," replied Sloth, not wanting to ruin Wrath's innocence. What she did not realize, was that they lived with Greed, which was enough to destroy anyone's innocence.

The phone started to ring, Sloth answered it, talked for a while, then hung up. She turned to Wrath.

"I need to go out to military headquarters for a while, Pride needs my help. I'll be back soon, so be good," said Sloth.

"Okay mommy," replied Wrath. Sloth walked out.

After cursing Pride for calling Sloth away, Wrath turned his attention out the window. The birds were now soaring freely in the air.

"I wish I could fly…" muttered Wrath.

Envy lay peacefully in his bed. Drool covered his pillow. Wrath approached him, slowly creeping up on him. He was almost on top of Envy. He brought his face near Envy's face.

"ENVY, WAKE UP!" Wrath yelled into Envy's ear. Envy fell off his bed.

"What? What is it? Who do I have to kill?" Envy jumped awake, "oh, it's just you, what do you want?"

"Envy… umm… I…"

"What is it?" yelled Envy.

"I want you to help me do something," said Wrath.

"And that would be?" asked Envy.

"Umm…umm…fly," replied Wrath.

"You want to fly?" asked Envy. Wrath nodded his head.

"Why didn't you say so earlier, here, come on, I'll help you fly," Envy picked Wrath up and through him out of the window with all his strength.

"No need to say thanks, it was my pleasure," yelled Envy, he went back to bed.

Wrath entered the mansion.

"Had fun?" asked Envy.

"Is mommy home?" asked Wrath.

"Umm… no, why'd you ask"

"If mommy isn't home, I can do this." There was a flash of light, followed by some gunshots.

Envy's bullet ridden form fell to the floor. Greed was sitting nearby, and burst into laughter.

"You want to fly, so just transmute some wings for yourself," suggested Lust.

"Thanks Lust," Wrath ran outside.

"Hey Monster, come here, you have to see this," Greed called. Envy walked outside the mansion.

"Hey what's in the crates?" asked Envy.

"Birds," answered Greed, "Wrath brought lots of them, I think he's going to transmute some wings for himself."

Greed started to laugh again.

"What's so damn funny?" asked Envy.

Greed smiled, "He doesn't realize they're chickens."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please Review.

-I'll have the next chapter up soon


	2. Fuhrer order 5726

Thanks for all the reviews, keep sending more. This time I at least want fifteen.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full-Metal Alchemist, though the voices in my head say that if I wish hard enough, I will.

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**_Random FMA Stories_**

**By HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 2: Fuhrer order# 5726**

"Hey Greed, I need you to do a favor for me," called Sloth. Greed yawned.

"What is it?" asked Greed. He got up off the couch and approached Sloth and Wrath.

"Take care of Wrath," replied Sloth. Wrath tugged at her arm, trying to drag her down.

"It'll cost you," said Greed.

"What?" asked Sloth. Greed handed her a paper.

"Get Pride to sign this, and…" Greed whispered something in Sloth's ear.

Sloth looked at Wrath, who was busy trying to rip her arm off. She sighed.

"Ok, sure. And Wrath, listen to Greed," Sloth started to leave.

"Okay mommy," said Wrath.

"And remember, Tomorrow at eight, please get a leave, I'm sure Pride will grant one," yelled Greed as Sloth left.

"So, what do we play now?" asked Wrath. Greed looked at Wrath.

"Go play with Gluttony," replied Greed.

"But he tried to eat me…"

"Then go play with monster," said Greed, he didn't want to be stuck with Wrath all day. Wrath ran off to find Envy. Greed smiled. Now where to take Sloth for her date.

Roy stared at the massive pile of paperwork in front of him. He was thinking desperately of some way to get rid of his work, time that could have been spent actually doing the work. A messenger burst in and delivered a paper to Hawkeye, who read it aloud.

_Fuhrer order # 5726: 5th October is going to be military Show and Tell day. All military personel Must participate_

The room was quiet for a moment, then burst with laughter. A few minutes later, they realized it wasn't a joke, and the room fell silent again.

'_The Fuhrer's gone crazy. This is good, maybe they'll kick him out,_' thought Roy.

"Well I'll go prepare my presentation, see you all later," Roy got up, finally getting an excuse to leave work that Hawkeye couldn't argue against, her gun was the only thing that kept Roy at the office.

The parade ground was all set and a huge stage was made for the occasion. All the military was present.

First up, Maes Hughes.

Hughes stood on the stage and gave a signal. A curtain raised up from behind him. A massive picture of Elysia stood behind him. The crowd was silent, Elysia needed no introduction, everyone in the military had seen her pictures, not that they had ever wanted to.

"Awed by her beauty aren't you?" said Hughes.

It took a minute for the silent crowd to explode. Hughes was booed off the stage, and pelted by various objects.

Next, Edward Elric.

Ed went up on stage. He picked his auto-mail arm up from the pile of things thrown at Hughes, and attached it.

"I'll make some statues using Alchemy," announced Ed. He brought his hands together. There was a flash of light.

Several statues stood on the stage. All had one common theme, Roy dying very painful deaths.

"Whoa, that shrimp is good," the crowd said in unision.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SUPER SMALL ULTRA SHRIMP WHO CANT BE SEEN WITHOUT A MICROSCOPE," yelled Ed, there was another flash of light. The statues disappeared, and were replaced by a giant cannon.

"Umm…brother, I think that's enough…" Alphonse dragged Ed away. Then came back and used alchemy to remove the cannon.

"Hey, you show us something," came a voice from the crowd.

"Umm… okay, these are my cats…" Al opened his chest plate. More than a hundred cat's came flooding out. The crowed just stood there with their mouths hanging open.

"That's too much…" muttered Ed.

It's Armstrong's turn. The horror, the horror.

Alex Louis Armstrong got up on the stage.

"Umm…Roy, weren't the others supposed to stop him from coming?" asked Ed.

"We did destroy his car," replied Roy.

"Wait a second… didn't the Armstrong's have some running technique, I believe that the Major mentioned it once," said Al. Everyone sighed.

"Hey Full-Metal, iknow a way we ca turn this into an advantage," said Roy.

Armstrong took center-stage, and threw off his shirt. Massive sparkles surrounded him.

"Now, behold my beautiful muscles, and watch me demonstrate the glorious techniques passed down through the generations of the Armstrong family," he started to flex his muscles.

Ed and Roy started selling sunglasses and barf bags to all the military.

Now it's Havoc's turn.

After all the cats had been cleared off the stage, Havoc appeared with a woman at his side. Havoc held up a piece of paper.

"This is a list of all the girls the colonel has stolen from me, and this is my lawyer, I'm filing a case against him," explained Havoc. Havoc's lawyer glanced over at Roy, then whispered something in Havoc's ear.

"Yes, that's him," replied Havoc. His lawyer took the mike from him.

"The case is now dropped," said the lawyer, and moved toward Roy, who started to chat with her. The crowd exploded with laughter. Havoc got that look he got when Katherine Armstong dumped him. He went off stage.

Riza Hawkeye.

Hawkeye came on the stage with her gun collection. She showed her guns, and was met with applause. Everyone knew not to make her mad. They knew what she could do with a pistol, and shuddered to think of what she could do with an assault rifle.

The Flame Alchemist's turn.

Roy approached the stage clutching a giant book in his hands. He held it up for all to see.

"This is my phonebook."

Everyone fell to the ground.

The Fuhrer

Fuhrer King Bradley approached the stage. He gave a signal, a curtain raised behind him. A giant picture of his son, Selim, was behind him.

"This is my son, Selim," said the Fuhrer. The crowd exploded with applause.

"Sure they cheer him on…" muttered Hughes.

"Hey Hughes, what are you doing?" Roy approached Hughes, who was sitting in a dark corner. Hughes looked at Roy.

"Roy, I've made a decision."

"What?"

"I'm going to become Fuhrer."

"What? Why?"

"When I become Fuhrer, I'm going to make everyone in the military see pictures of Elycia."

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Hope you liked that. Please review.

Next chapter, Greed's date goes horribly wrong.


	3. Hell hath no fury

Thanks for all reviews. I look forward to writing for you guys.

However, I need more reviews or I won't update.

This time I want at least twenty.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full-Metal Alchemist, though Greed says he can convince Hiromu Arakawa to sell it to me.

Oh well, getting that aside, lets proceed to the story. Greed's date with Sloth.

**_Random FMA stories_**

**By HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 3: Hell hath no fury…**

Greed tucked the sleeping Wrath in bed. He hoped that the sedative was enough to keep the hyperactive brat to stay asleep while Greed went on his date with Sloth. He did pour enough in the glass to knock out an entire herd of rhinos for about three weeks, but this was Wrath, so you could never be too careful.

Once sure that Wrath was sound asleep, he got ready for his date. If Wrath knew that Greed was going out with Sloth, Greed didn't want to know what the psychotic kid would do, after all, Wrath could even get past his Ultimate Shield.

"Wow, you look amazing," Greed complimented Sloth as she emerged from her room. Greed amused himself as he watched Sloth blush. Women were so gullible.

"Shall we go?" asked Sloth.

"Sure, I know this perfect little place," Greed led Sloth out.

"Seriously, are all my husbands falling for that girl," muttered Dante as she saw Sloth and Greed leave the house.

Greed led Sloth into the bar. Truth be told, he had no idea he would wind up here. He had considered going into the 'Devil's Nest', but it occurred to him that it wouldn't quite be to Sloth's liking, so, for some reason, this place occurred to him as a good place. The thought just plain popped in his head, it just struck him as a place that was suitable to a woman in the military.

Greed and Sloth took a seat and looked at the menu. The door to the bar opened again. Greed looked to see who entered.

"Oh shit!" said Greed. Now he remembered why this had struck him as a place a girl in the military would like, it was the place one of the girls he was dating took him to once. Greed couldn't remember her rank though, maybe it was 2nd Lieutenant.

"What was that?" asked Sloth, still staring at the menu.

"Oh shit, this is bad… I mean I need to go shit," Greed got up and rushed into the washroom. The girl he was dating wasn't one to mess with.

"Oh god what am I going to do," muttered Roy. He stood looking at himself in the washroom window. Both his dates had met up with each other.

The door burst open, Greed burst in muttering the same words. Roy looked at him.

"You too?" he asked.

"Yup, afraid so," said Greed. They both laughed over their predicament.

"Those two over there, the ones angrily chatting, that's them," said Roy pointing to the girls out of the washroom. The door was slightly ajar so Greed and Roy could look out.

"Ah, poor guy, my dates haven't met yet, they're the ones there, and there," said Greed, pointing out the two women.

"Hey, that's the Fuhrer's secretary, you lucky dog, and that's… oh no man, I'm sorry, I hope you had a good life, I pity you…" Roy noticed who the other girl was. It was the one person that no one in the military wanted to mess with, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

"I have to get out somehow…" said Greed.

"Fine, lets go," Roy used the drew an alchemic circle on the soap, and put it to the wall. There was a flash of light, an opening was created in the washroom wall.

"Well, I'll be going now. Would you like to leave too, before you're discovered," said Roy. Greed wanted to leave, but he didn't want to leave Sloth behind, without giving some excuse. If he just left, that would make Sloth quite angry, and Greed knew not to cross angry women.

"Guess, I'll just have to go tell her that I've got to leave," Greed shrugged, this was going to be troublesome.

'_But how to get to her without being noticed? _' he thought.

As Greed and Roy just stood there, a large man emerged from the cubicle.

"Major, what are you doing here?" asked Roy. The giant man looked at both of them with sparkles in his eye.

"I was here with my sister, when nature called, I was in here, and I couldn't help but overhearing you by the keen listening ears of the Armstrong family. I don't want this man to suffer at the first lieutenant's hands, so I will guide him to his table," he said.

"Fine, if you get caught, though, it's your funeral," Roy warned Greed then left.

Greed left the washroom, hiding behind Armstrong's massive figure.

"Yo, big guy, I just want to say thanks," said Greed.

"Helping out people whose dates are about to meet is a tradition practiced by the Armstrong family for generations," came the reply.

"Hey, sorry I took so long, I was…" Greed stopped, this wasn't happening.

"Oh Greed, don't worry. This is a friend from work, her names Riza," said Sloth.

"We've met," said Hawkeye calmly.

"Umm…well, sorry, but I've got to be going now," Greed started to back away.

"Hold on… what about our date," asked Sloth.

"Maybe later," Greed backed away.

Twelve shots rang throughout the bar. Greed paused. Hawkeye lowered her gun.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Hawkeye sternly.

"Help me," Greed whispered to Armstrong.

A shirt sailed into the air. Armstrong started to flex his muscles, bright sparkles surrounding him. Greed wouldn't have been able to see if he didn't wear his dark glasses, which, in his opinion, made him look so damn hot.

"Run," suggested Armstrong.

Greed ran for it, bullets whizzing behind him.

Envy looked out of the ally at the people passing in the street. There were so many damn people, it made his search for Hohenhiem that much harder.

"Hey mons… I mean Envy," came a voice from behind him. Envy turned around to see Greed running towards him.

"What is it?" asked Envy. Hohenhiem of light passed in the street behind Envy. Envy looked ready to rip someone's head off, Greed decided not to mention this to him.

"I need you to help me," said Greed.

"And why should I do that?" asked Envy.

"Two reasons. One, you get to kill some one. Two, I'll let you punch me without me pulling out my shield," Said Greed.

"Fine, what do I need to do," asked Envy, he was itching to finally punch Greed without him using out his shield.

"There's a woman on my back, I need you to get rid of her," said Greed, "Oh no, she's here."

Greed ran away. Envy looked to see a woman approaching them.

"Come here, I'll rip you to shreds," snarled Envy.

Several shots echoed through the area. Envy's lifeless body fell to the ground, all twenty shots had penetrated his chest.

"Looks like monster couldn't take care of her," Greed muttered as he ran through the alley, trying to avoid Hawkeye's shots.

'_Hey, wait a second… what am I doing? I'm Greed, THE ULTIMATE SHIELD, she can't do anything to me,_' Greed thought. He stopped and turned around, now in his ultimate shield form. The bullet's ricocheted off him. Hawkeye stopped.

"Hah, you can't do anything to me," Greed reverted to normal form.

Hawkeye raised a rocket launcher. BOOM.

Hawkeye left the warehouse, Greed's blown up body slowly regenerated.

Greed stumbled to the mansion to find Sloth, Envy, and Wrath waiting for him at the doorstep.

"Today's just not my lucky day," muttered Greed.

Hope you liked that, please review.

Next chapter: Edward Elric on trial.


	4. A vey short case

Didn't get as many reviews as I wanted, in fact, I only got one for Chapter 3. Truth be told, I write for reviews (that, and my love for writing fanfics.).

Oh well, if you didn't think that was good, tell me. All reviews and flames are welcome. Reviews will help me write more, flames will be used to heat home, cook, etc.

Hey, sorry for the delay, my comp was on the fritz.

Oh yeah, I've rambled on for a long time, so back to the story. The trial of Edward Elric.

Disclaimer: I don't own full metal alchemist, though Roy says he can "persuade" Arakawa-san into giving it to me if I can get him a copy of Jiraiya-sama's book… now if only I owned Naruto…

**_Random FMA stories_**

**By: HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 3: A very 'short' case**

Ed sat on the chair quietly, wondering who the court appointed lawyers were. He looked around as the room started to fill, now regretting his actions.

---------FLASHBACK--------------

"Go ahead shorty, drink up like a good shrimp," the Brigadier General shoved the glass in Ed's face. Ed pushed the man away, he could smell alcohol coming form the man's mouth.

'_Why can't the colonel deliver his own paperwork…_' thought Ed, making a mental note to make Roy suffer before killing him. Ed turned to leave.

"Hey, where do you think you're going? I'm a Brigadier General, I'm your superior, I own you, you pipsqueak," the Brigadier General caught Ed and pulled him back. Ed shoved him away.

"You don't own me!" cried Ed, "AND WHO… WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC BEAN WHO HAS TO DO WHATEVER YOU BASTARDS SAY!"

There were several flashes of light, along with several loud thumps and screams.

When military personnel entered the room, they found it all distorted, and saw Ed standing over the Brigadier General's bloody body.

---------END FLASHBACK--------

Ed glanced at his automail, the bloodstains still hadn't come off.

Ed looked back at the room to find the Brigadier General being brought in on the wheelchair. Ed looked at the Brigadier General's face, and felt most of his regret being replaced by satisfaction. Besides the brutally beaten man stood another man. His lawyer, Ed deducted, but where was his lawyer.

"Hiya Full-Metal, hows it going?" Colonel Roy mustang came and sat next to him.

"Colonel, what the hell are you doing here?" asked Ed.

"Full-Metal, isn't it obvious, I'm your lawyer," replied Roy.

"What?" cried Ed.

Roy smiled, then scribbled something on a piece of paper and put it in his pocket.

A moderately attractive female judge took her seat. The case began.

About half hour into the case, the prosecution had just presented it's total case. Things looked bad for the chibi alchemist.

Ed shifted around in his seat, things weren't going as good as he hoped. Roy just sat in the seat, apparently concentrating hard.

"Hey colonel, are you here to help me win or what?" asked Ed. Roy looked at him.

"Oh yes, the case… sorry, I wasn't paying attention," said Roy calmly.

"Then what were you doing! You sure looked like you were concentrating really hard," said Ed.

"I was thinking of a way to stop my two girlfriends from hating me, they bumped into each other," explained Roy.

"What? You bastard, you're supposed to help me win!" hissed Ed.

"Oh yeah, okay," Roy sighed and got up. He approached the judge, and showed her the piece of paper. Then returned to his seat.

"We win," Roy told Ed.

"How are you so sure," asked Ed

"This court finds the Full-Metal Alchemist, Edward Elric, not-guilty," The judge announced the verdict.

"See, told you so," said Roy. Ed stared at him.

"So, how'd you do it?" asked Ed. He and Roy were leaving the building.

"That, it's because of this," Roy showed Ed a piece of paper.

_If Ed wins, I'll go out on a date with you. I'll pick you up at seven. – Roy_

Ed fell to the ground. Roy smiled threw the paper up in the air and burnt it using alchemy. Time to go get ready for his date.

Please review.

Again, I'm sorry for the delay, future chapters wont take so long, unless I get writer's block, or my comp goes on the fritz again.


	5. Schemes Parts 1 and 2

Here's the next chapter, sorry for the delay in updates, I'm working on another project right now. It's called "Chibi-napped".

Thanks for your reviews, I know the previous chapter wasn't all that good, so I have a treat for you. This is one of my best works yet, but its five parts long. Without further ado, we begin with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full-Metal Alchemist. So what? I will, soon… very soon… (Evil Grin)

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**_Random FMA stories_**

**By: HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 5: Schemes part 1+2; 'It begins' and 'Shopping'**

Envy got up off the ground. Blood and mechanical parts lay splattered all around him.

Grinning evilly, he wiped the blood off his face, and looked down at the minute corpse in front of him.

'_At last,_' he thought, '_I've killed the prick's son._' He raised his leg to kick the corpse.

"ENVY, WAKE UP!"

Envy rolled off the bed and onto the cold stony floor. He opened his eyes, and was face to face with his younger version.

"Come on Envy, I'm bored, let's do something," the boy whined.

"Not now Wrath, what time is it? Let me eat breakfast first," Envy grumbled lazily. He went down to the mansion's kitchen.

"Hey, the monsters finally awake."

"Shut up Greed," snapped Envy. He looked around the room.

Greed was devouring a steak with his shark-like teeth. Wrath was trying to arouse a sleeping Sloth from the bowl her head was in, Pride definitely gave her too much work. Speaking of Pride, he wasn't here, Envy assumed he was at home with his 'family'. Dante sat at the end of the table, quietly chewing on a sandwich. Lust was staring directly at him. Envy blushed and quickly looked away. Gluttony and the fridge were nowhere to be seen.

"Aw man, don't tell me he ate the fridge again, I'm starving," moaned Envy.

"Alright, We won't tell you," remarked Greed, a shark-like grin covering his face.

Envy had the intention to break every one of Greed's teeth, but he was too hungry.

"I'm starving," he moaned again.

"Then go to the supermarket, and while you're at it, get these too," said Dante, throwing Envy a long list.

"Ask someone else," replied Envy.

"Please," moaned Lust. Envy turned bright red.

"Okay I'll do it," Envy picked up the list and turned around.

"And take Wrath with you, he is so annoying," said Greed.

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Envy and Wrath stood in front of the supermarket. Now this wasn't any ordinary supermarket, this one had everything in it. Seriously, it had every bloody thing you could think of. After staring at the building for about a minute or so, they walked in, and bumped into something.

Envy got up, and looked (down) at Edward Elric.

"Hey Wrath, look, It's the Full-Metal Shrimp…"

"WHO'S AN ULTRA-SMALL SUPER SHRIMP? YOU STUPID PALM TREE"

"You wanna fight do you?"

"Sorry, I don't fight girls…"

"Scared?"

"… but in this case, I'll make an exception."

"Brother, this isn't the time. Come on, we have to buy the groceries, or Izumi-sensei's gonna kill us," said Alphonse Elric.

Hearing the name of Izumi Curtis sent shivers down all four's spines (Yup, even a suit of armor shivered), and they all went on their merry way down the aisles.

On the fifth aisle, both of them entered from the same side. On the far end, they saw it. Both Ed and Envy's eye's sparkled like Armstrong's. There it hung, the perfect black gothic Lolita outfit. (Told you this store had everything.)

"I have to get it for Winry," thought Ed.

"I have to get it for Lust," thought Envy.

And so began the cataclymasic battle down the unnaturally long lane. People in the lane were trampled, bystanders were shocked and traumatized.

The fight seemed to be an even match, neither side seemed to be winning. Suddenly, Envy got an idea, a brilliant idea.

He scooped up a carton of milk and threw it at Ed. It exploded.

As Ed squirmed around in pain, Envy pushed forward, paying no attention to the screams of "It burns. It burns," behind him.

Envy leapt for the dress. He was so close, it was right in front of him…

A tall man quickly snatched it off the rack. He walked away, not even noticing Envy on the floor.

"This'll look perfect on Elysia when she grows up," remarked Hughes as he walked away, prize in hand.

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There it is, please review.

I'll try to update faster.

Next part: 'Revenge'


	6. Schemes part 3

Thanks for the reviews. So, here's the next part.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full-Metal Alchemist… sorry, can't think of anything witty to write.

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_**Random FMA stories**_

**By: HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 6: Schemes part 3; 'Revenge'**

"Crap, I almost had it," moaned Envy as he walked down the hallway.

"So, who was the dress for?" came a sly voice from behind him.

"Shut up Greed," replied Envy, turning around.

"What? I was just wondering whether it was for you, or… someone else," Greed taunted, stealing a glance at the closed door of Lust's room, which was at the far end of the hallway.

"That's none of your business," snapped Envy, "and how do you even know about that?"

"Let's just say a little birdie told me," mocked Greed.

'_Damn, I thought I saw something green in Wrath's pockets,_' thought Envy, '_miserable little turncoat._'

"You'll be a bad influence on the kid," said Envy.

"Oh, and the monster isn't?" retorted Greed.

"Just go away will you?" said Envy. Greed shrugged.

"Alright. I was going to tell you a way to get back at the Elrics, but if you're not interested…" Greed started to walk away.

"No, okay, wait," called Envy, he was itching for a chance to get back at Ed.

"Well, I've got some footage here, that will truly disgust those brothers to the core," said Greed, taking a tape out of his jacket.

"What is it?" asked Envy excitedly.

"It's footage of Sloth in the shower," said Greed.

'_Footage of their mom, that'll be perfect, it'll even work on that traitor Wrath,_' thought Envy.

"I'll take two," said Envy.

"It's going to cost you though," remarked Greed.

"How much?" asked Envy warily.

"A hundred, each," said Greed, with his trademark Shark-like grin.

"That's highway robbery," cried Envy.

"Take it or leave it," replied Greed.

"Fine, here," Envy handed him the money, and walked away with the tapes. It was costly, but it was worth it.

Greed put the money in his jacket and started to walk away. This had been a great plan. The monster was such a big sucker. He wondered if he should've charged more, footage like this wasn't easy to make, oh wait, it was.

Edward Elric woke up late. As he went into the living room, he saw a tape on the floor.

"Hey, Al, what's that?" asked Ed.

Alphonse Elric walked into the room, saw the tape, and picked it up.

"It's from the homunculus Envy," said Al.

"That stupid palm tree? Oh well, put it on," said Ed.

They both put in the film and sat near the screen.

The film showed water flowing out of the shower into a full bathtub, for the entire length of the tape.

"That guy's seriously lost his marbles," remarked Ed.

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So, that's it, please review.


	7. Schemes part 4

Thanks for the reviews. Here's the next part.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full-Metal Alchemist, but neither do you guys. _Insert maniacal laughter here. _(Yup, I'm crazy.)

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**_Random FMA stories_**

**By: HomunculusGreedLing**

**Chapter 7: Schemes part 4; "The meeting"**

Greed opened the door and went into the bar.

He took up his usual seat and was immediately attended to by two women.

He saw his associate enter the bar and dismissed the girls.

"'The devil's nest', Eh? What a quaint place," he remarked as he sat in front of Greed.

"What? This place not good enough for a State Alchemist?" remarked Greed.

"Oh no, It's fine," said the man, "By the way, how'd the plan go?"

"Like a charm," said Greed with a smirk, "The monster fell for it easily."

"Like I predicted," said the man, "Where's my share?"

"Here," Greed threw a bundle of cash to the man.

"Let's celebrate with a drink," said Greed, signaling the bartender.

"Oh yeah, I talked to Pride about your idea," said Greed.

"And…" the State Alchemist asked eagerly.

"He liked it, he's going to be implementing it soon" replied Greed.

"Great," said the man, taking a sip out of his drink.

The man's vision was blurring.

"You added something to this didn't you?" he asked.

Greed grinned deviously, "Yup, it's a formula of the Crystal Alchemist. Now, Colonel, tell me all your secrets."

-----

An hour later, Greed emerged from 'the devil's nest' with a big grin on his face, an unconscious State Alchemist in his hand, and a howitzer load of blackmail material. Greed looked down at the unsuspecting Alchemist he was dragging, his mind spinning with ideas. He now virtually owned this man.

-----

Roy Mustang woke up in his room.

He had a killer of a headache.

'_Man, what did Greed give me last night? I swear I'm going to kill him,_' he thought.

Later, as he sat at his desk, trying to remember last night's events, the phone began to ring.

"Hello Mustang, how are you today," said Greed.

"Don't you 'hello mustang' me, I'm going to get you for this, you even took my money!" replied Roy.

"Ha, you even try anything, and I tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets," taunted Greed.

"You're bluffing," said Roy warily.

"You think so, then why don't you hand your phone over to first lt. Hawkeye. I'll tell her all about 17th December," said Greed slyly.

"You wouldn't dare…" said Roy.

"I would," replied Greed.

"Okay, what do you want?" asked Roy.

"I'm Greed, I want everything," said Greed, "But for now, I want you to stand on you're table and dance."

"What?" asked Roy.

"You heard me, stand on your table and dance," said Greed, "I'll be in touch."

Greed hung up the phone, laughing manically.

Roy sighed and stood up on the desk.

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So, there it is, please review.

Next chapter is the last and final part of 'schemes'.

Oh yeah, you guys want to know what happened on Dec. 17? Well, if you do, get up on you tables and dance… or just send me enough reviews.


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